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Just a little...

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Now I am ashamed to have ever been associated with Hadi bin Omar. Hearing about and shown all the attention he is trying to garner - not that i don't already know but not to this extent. I think people think I scored a pot of gold because all of that brawn but nooo... He tried so hard to change me. Even worse, his suicide threats (thrice) before scared me because it was all new, and then when i got tired of it and wanted to end it, his crying and begging. I can only hope no one else has to go through this. These are messages I would look back at, to see how far i've come and endured. If i didnt reply - I try to cool down and hold my tongue - he would spam all channels, even social media. Of course, with the hope that it would all go well for us when he stops controlling me, who I hang out with, and accept me for who i am. These were all a year ago. I didn't let go because he was fighting for us, hence I fought for us. It was worth it, holding on. And I was totally ...
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You guys are dating and you don’t want to tip your hand too early so you can stay aloof and mysterious and protect your too often trampled-on heart, but at some point one of you is going to have to put it out there. Someone is going to have to take the risk because, if you play these mind games for too long, you will eventually get exhausted of each other. There’s a reason they call it “falling in love,” and that’s because sometimes you have to jump off the cliff and hope there’s a plush, silky, heart-shaped pillow at the bottom of the chasm. Tragically there usually isn’t, but you cannot truly love if you don’t give yourself completely over and let go. Just “fall,” as it were. (via Thought Catalog )
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Thank you

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Look, the look of hope. There's some higher power or let's just call it the universe, just helping me cope with any potential demons that might creep in any time of the day. My time has been occupied by all these people... All these people I haven't spoken to for ages and who i don't deserve. I am aware of all these little things/ "coincidences" that are paddling me forward. It is so humbling, and I am so grateful for these. Sometimes I allow myself to feel the hurt, because it's makes me stronger. It also is a huge consolation to know for sure that i've dodged a bullet, and I'm definitely hopeful for the better that will come.
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